The (Mc)Crystal of Oratory

Mr. McCrystal is the head Cross Country coach and a history teacher here at Oratory Prep. I recently interviewed him on certain school and personality opinions.

Q: What do you enjoy most in your school day?

A: I enjoy instruction time in the classroom almost as much as I like to prank/shoot the breeze/debate/discuss/plot with my fellow faculty members. The classroom is my happy place, though. Why shouldn’t it be?

Q: What do you enjoy most about Oratory in general?

A: What do I enjoy most about Oratory? That is a tough question. Mr. Maybe? Soft pretzels? Nurse Lynn’s mints? Honestly, I would have to say it is the camaraderie I see between students, students and teachers, teachers and teachers, and administrators and teachers. The family dynamic is no marketing ploy. It is authentic.

Q: How much do you like the student body?

A: The student body is what keeps us all employed. So, that’s a plus, right? The students allow me, and I would assume many of my colleagues, to stay young, keep us informed with pop culture, and be ridiculous in general. You’re a decent human, Mark.

Q: If you could go back in time, where would you go?

A: If I could go back in time, eh? I would probably go back into the not too distant past and memorize some lottery numbers… snag some scratch offs… maybe find out where a hidden treasure or two is buried. That sounds like a nice retirement plan. That and have dinner with Winston Churchill.

Q: Are you excited for the new building?

A: I am very excited for the new building, anxious even. The new building means an incredible and positive change for OP; more ground to cover, more students to teach, more athletes to coach, more floors to scrub, more hiding places for Mr. Corcoran to find, more hallways for Mr. Acquadro to stalk. So much. Ultimately, it means decades of longevity for OP.

Q: On a scale of 1-10, how much will the new building affect you?

A: 8.75? That sounds about right. The new building will mean more responsibility as a supervisor, teacher, coach, etc. It will probably mean more walking… want to buy me some type of hoverboard or UTV? Christmas gift? Yes? Okay, cool. 

Q: Why are manhole covers round?

A: Manhole covers are round because the horrid creatures who live below streets are square shaped… clearly.

Q: If the world were to end right now, what is one possession that you would take with you?

A: Take where? Heaven? An island because I am the only Cast Away style survivor? Some type of survivor’s colony? In any event, I would take a toothbrush., Heaven, hell, or walking dead, I hate the feeling of unbrushed teeth.