Wordle: Another American Pastime Ruined by the Tycoons of Our Society

As a proud and honorable journalist, it pains me to bring you the unfortunate news that the new hit game Wordle has been purchased by The New York Times. As someone who prides themselves on never taking part in a false representation of the news, I hate to see Wordle fall to an organization such as the NYT which is riddled with yellow journalism.

Many of you may be wondering, “What is this game that you call Wordle?” In short, it is a daily word puzzle comparable to an abridged crossword. I’ve heard many descriptions but Senior editor Emmett Gaffney said it best. “Wordle is love. Wordle is life. It is the game of games.” Really the best way to learn is to play, just like most things in life. 

In a brief conversation during CWP on Tuesday, Mr. Gordon of the Religion Department described his experiences with the “Game of Games.” Mr. Gordon said that he played the game eight times and never scored less than a 5. He said, “It’s easy, once you get the vowels.” I, however, have heard other positions about the game being incredibly antagonizing. Arnav “Boulder Shoulders” Chahal was once cited playing the same round for 67 hours straight. That is the same amount of time it would take to watch Rocky IV 44 and a half times. Although there have been mixed opinions on the game’s difficulty, it is perfectly clear that it’s addicting. 

The reason I bring you this article is because of what The New York Times has done. In purchasing Wordle, who knows how they will ruin it. Some are saying there will be ads, others believe it will require a subscription to play. Even some remarks have led to the idea that the NYT just bought it so they could destroy it. Rumors have spread that the NYT acquired Wordle for about $1 million, but I have to say that anyone who has played Wordle knows there simply is no price on a game like this. Looking logically at the situation, the NYT is really foolish in paying $1 million for this game because a small fry like me manages to play it for free. 

Because of this egregious action, I would like to declare a statement of disappointment against The New York Times. Some murmurs have been surfacing that there was an ulterior motive to selling Wordle. The folks over at BuzzFeed, an ally of The Omega, said that the strategic play of purchasing Wordle might have been an attempt to get an upper hand in overtaking The Omega as America’s number 1 news outlet. This would check out, as the New York Times already crossed OP lines when they infiltrated our Classlink accounts back in 2018. 

In conclusion, it is important for the OP community to stand up against Big News, such as the NYT, and fight for the other little guys like Wordle. Similar to the dilemma from the movie Robots in 2005, Bigweld once said “To me, the company was about making life better, but to Ratchet, it was making money that came first. I became old-fashioned, and outmoded. Ratchet beat me, and he’s gonna beat you.”

This is how I view the NYT: a company only set on making money– even if it means bending the truth or buying and profiting from a beloved free game like Wordle. If we don’t take action now, who knows the costs and what The New York Times will rob us from next.