“‘Thanksgiving vs. Christmas: An Objective Comparison’ One Year Later” One Year Later

As Thanksgiving fades away and Christmas comes over the horizon, I am once more doing OP the benefit of unbiasedly comparing America’s favorite two holidays. On November 22, 2021 and November 17, 2020, myself and staff editor Mathew Yeager respectively wrote two articles comparing the beloved celebrations. However, due to severe lapses in judgment from our equally severely underdeveloped brains, the two articles are, quite frankly, unreadable. Last year, the comparisons were extremely slim, comparing only the food, the music, movies, and backstory. The year before that is simply not worth mentioning. 

Food

Thanksgiving is oddly the only American holiday, with perhaps the exception of the Fourth of July, entirely known for its food. The succulent turkey, the sweet pumpkin pie, the tart cranberry sauce, and the gloppy mashed potatoes all make Thanksgiving what it is. Even going back to colonial times, back when I am pretty sure, like 90%, the European pilgrims ate the poor Native Americans for Thanksgiving, the annual feast has always been about its food. Christmas on the other hand, although food is a slight part of the holiday, has actually nothing to do with food. The fruitcake that Christmas is universally known for, in fact, was ranked the worst Christmas food on purewow.com—a digital media website whose work is widely considered unequivocal fact. While Christmas also has the traditional ham and turkey, I have to give this category to Thanksgiving, because Christmas still just does not have as much to offer.

Movies

Movies—those beloved moving pieces of visual art that stimulate a sense of emotion unmatched by any other form of communication or human perception—which holiday has the better ones, Christmas or Thanksgiving? At face value, Christmas, of course, but let’s not count Thanksgiving out just yet. Immediately, incredible movies such as Rocky, A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving, and Free Birds, the ending of which still makes me tear up, come to mind. Meanwhile, the first Christmas movies that come to mind are Eyes Wide Shut and Die Hard, neither of which are very Catholic if you ask me. In fact, Tom Cruise who acted as the very handsome Bill Harford in the former movie is a known Scientologist—that’s not very Catholic! For these reasons, I cannot with any shred of journalistic integrity give Christmas the point. Thanksgiving is up 2 – 0.

Music

Christmas is one of those holidays that has some of the greatest music ever made. “All I Want For Christmas is You” by Mariah Carey, “White Christmas” popularized by Bing Crosby, “Last Christmas” by Wham!, every Michael Bublé cover, and “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer” by Elmo and Patsy are all incredible classics, like are you [redacted] kidding me?! Meanwhile, what does Thanksgiving have—“Turkey Time” by Harry Kindergarten Music, “The Thanksgiving Song” by Adam Sandler, “Thanksgiving Song” by Mary Chapin Carpenter, “I’ve Got Plenty to Be Thankful For” by Bing Crosby? Although “Turkey Time” has a special place in my heart, I cannot in my right mind give the point to Thanksgiving.

However, I cannot give the point to Christmas either! Need I remind you readers that Bing Crosby, who widely popularized “White Christmas” and wrote “I’ve Got Plenty to Be Thankful For” did blackface in the 1942 film Holiday Inn—not cool Bing! Therefore, I am nullifying this category and no points will be given.

Backstory

We all know the Thanksgiving story I think—hungry European pilgrims that settled in Jamestown were in dire need of a snack. “Who better than the Indians?” they thought to themselves. The rest is history. Christmas on the other hand is a whole convoluted mess. Many attribute the early days of Christmas to one St. Nicholas who, born with a silver spoon, gave much of his money to those who needed it more than him. However, Christmas has a much darker side in many cultures. In American pop culture, and formerly German folklore, Krampus, whose name in Bavarian means dead, is known to come to childrens’ houses with St. Nicholas. While the jolly Santa Claus rewards the good kids with gifts, Krampus probably eats them, maybe, I’m not sure—no one is! Because Krampus and the Yule Lads makes me quiver like no other, Thanksgiving must get the point (please don’t eat me Krampus).

The Beauty of Enriching Tradition and the Inherently Irresistible Influence of each Individual Holiday

Christmas is one of those universal things that everyone knows about, both in and out of the United States. Although not everyone celebrates it, there is always a looming sense of holiday cheer around December 25th. Even in the most impoverished of areas, parents living paycheck to paycheck will still scrape together a gift that their child will cherish forever. For kids everywhere there’s never a better feeling than waking up on Christmas morning, or staying up all night, just to see that crowned and colorful conifer brimming with gifts as pearly white snow lines the ground outside. 

On the other hand, what even is Thanksgiving—an anniversary of eating poor Native Americans? Probably. However, growing up I was always told that there is no better gift to give on Christmas, than to give the gift of giving. Therefore, Thanksgiving must be the epitome of everything Christmas stands for, as you are literally able to give the gift of thanks. As the cherished Bing Crosby says in his hit song “I’ve Got Plenty to Be Thankful For,” “I’ve got plenty to be thankful for[…] / I’ve got eyes to see with / Ears to hear with / Arms to hug with / Lips to kiss with (not very Catholic Bing…)[…] / How could anybody ask for more?” Well said Bing, I’m thankful for you. The point goes to Thanksgiving.

Verdict

Overall, Thanksgiving is an objectively better holiday than Christmas. There is likely no way for Christmas to ever overcome Thanksgiving unless we stop celebrating Thanksgiving as a whole.